if you like me you must not know who I am
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
