he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
