Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
