Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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