i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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