I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
COCAINE IS GR8
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