Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
