That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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