covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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