Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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