every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
