he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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