i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
