I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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