so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize