dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My life is pants optional.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
