When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
