It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
