I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
When did angry sex become our thing?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
