I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
