She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
