this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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