Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
