i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
