he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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