Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
