I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
