What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
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I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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