This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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