it wasn't lemon gatorade
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
