She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
