He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
