There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
