That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
