Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
