If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
