We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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