I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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