He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
