I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
