Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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