i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
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if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
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Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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