her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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