"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
