i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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