This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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