Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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