I'm gonna have a badass scar
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
