My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
