She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
