careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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