who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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