my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
