I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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