just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
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Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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