butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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