sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
