Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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