Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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