It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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