how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
so much tequila, so little girl.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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