You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
