I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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