He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
