it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
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I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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