marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
